Jeremy Soul recently posted a terrific blog entry about his contentment with his love life that was pretty great, but that’s not really news. Jeremy is a juggernaut of killer content. The reason I’m writing this post is to draw attention to a post to which he linked in his most recent update that really spoke to me.
Jeremy Soul on Quality vs Quantity in Love/Sex Relationships
I don’t think I have much to say to add to the discussion there except to say I am constantly torn between the virtues of quantity and quality. On the one hand, I have the libido of a 13-year-old boy, and I am constantly attracting women who want to sleep with me as a side effect and virtue of my job. On the other hand the reason I teach qualification the way I do is to help men develop standards for themselves and not go to sleep in the bed next to somebody while feeling utterly alone. There are only so many minutes in the day and so many days in our lives, and if you taint your moments with too many people the disappearance of whose numbers would not affect you, you need to unfuck your dating pool.
Qualification is how you do this, which is why I tell my students that qualification is the most important part of seduction, but that tends to fly out the window when I am faced with a beautiful creature staring at me adoringly through almondine eyes even though she can’t form a coherent sentence (if I’ve dated you and you’re reading this, I’m probably not talking about you. Unless it’s you. Yes, you. You know who you are, clown shoes. You’re the reason I had to develop standards for myself.)
I don’t have an answer. I’ve been on every conceivable side of infidelity outside of breaking the boundaries of my own marriage. I have dated up and down the social, intellectual, and aesthetic totem pole. While I’d love to say I have Soul’s restraint when it comes to spoon-feeding idiot children who were blessed with a visually pleasing phenotype, I cannot say so honestly. I’m a wunderkind when it comes to enforcing my boundaries, but I definitely find myself in situations where I should know better because, duh, I provided validation for inadequate qualification.
Anyway, yeah. Soul’s a genius.
While I’m pimping other instructors’ blogs, I have to single out Braddock’s post on having fun when going out. I try to hammer this point with my students, and I think Braddock’s example of the “Boo” game is arguably one of the funniest and best examples of group-based hi jinks I’ve ever heard of. I laughed out loud when I read that post. Braddock and Helicase are frigging hilarious.
