Futuristic Words » Pickup

Mr. M riffs on Inner Game

Future — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:16:59 +0000

I was looking through the Lounge for some student questions to answer, and I saw this post exchange between Mr. M and a Love Systems student. I found Mr. M’s post to be particularly well argued, and I knew it would not see the light of day if confined to the Lounge.

Enjoy. The student’s words are plain, and Mr. M’s are bold:

*************************

I really like this girl I’m seeing. I am sleeping with one other girl at the moment with 4 or so more that I’m working on, but this girl is, I think, the one I want. I just wanted to say that because the answer to this does not seem to be “just game other girls”.

Yep, we all still fall or want a specific girl. It’s more her behaviour that causes this rather than usually her looks, although usually it’s both of these things together.

I’m confused because we’re great together, she’s not seeing other guys despite me seeing other girls (or so she says) and she’s introduced me to most of her friends.

On the other hand, she never initiates contact, responds at least an hour later to my texts, and comes across as cold, analytical and business-like at times. She also doesn’t give head, which I see as a really big sexual compliance problem. I thought this was just gamey bullshit she played at the start for the chase, and I played along but its been 4 or 5 months now and I’m over it.

Dude, sometimes that is just the way that girls are. Every girl has their nuances.

The problem is when we hang out, it is awesome, time flies and we have so much fun. Between meets, she sucks on the phone because she’s passive. She only texts in reply to mine and it feels like if I didn’t make any effort, we’d just never talk. She knows she’s passive, she knows I don’t like it, but she still acts the same. She’s talked about boyfriends who have been annoyed cos she never calls or texts first, and even with her close friends, they always initiate contact. Of course, I’m not cool with that and I’m willing to let her go if she won’t change.

I messaged her last week. We hadn’t spoken in 5 days

She sounds like me and the way I am with girls lol. Listen man, you can’t control her. The point isn’t to control her. It’s to realize that you’ll be OK with or without her. There is no point trying to change her. Funnily enough, I said this to a girl I was seeing. She was like “something has changed, you don’t call me as often or even at all sometimes etc etc”. The fact is, nothing had changed, but I just had other important priorities on in my life which I had to deal with and she wasn’t my primary concern. This didn’t mean that I didn’t care about her, it just meant that I wasn’t going to do a lot of initiating because I had a lot of other shit to do as well. She was literally going psycho on my ass because of this. Like getting really insecure and telling me that she didn’t like the way that I was acting. So I just met up with her and told her what I thought. Which was that I really did like her and liked hanging out with her, but there was just a lot more going on in my life than when we first met. It was the truth.

So I said to her, and it was God’s honest truth, that if she needed some more from me or any other guy, then maybe she needed another guy. Because I wanted ‘X’ (X at the time being not being in a serious relationship where I see her 3 times a week). Not because I wanted to fuck around with other girls, but because I had other priorities in my life. So she cried but eventually was like “OK, I understand, now I want to be Y”. And that is the way it has been since then.

My point is that I knew my boundaries and implemented them – not over her, but over my behaviour. It didn’t have anything to do with her, in fact. I COULDN’T spend the amount of time that I wanted to with her because if I DID, then it would be taking me away from my own passion and purpose and I would resent her for it.

Now, if I was in a more committed mindset, I might say to her that I want more commitment because I want a relationship in my life. And if she said “no”, I’d be like, ok, we can just be friends or just keep going seeing each other until I meet someone else. It is “game” but it’s not, because I mean it. It is the mentality that I need to take WITHOUT changing her, which puts me at ease and at peace with myself. Do you get it?

You can’t change her, so you have to make a mental shift as to the position or role that you see her playing in your life.

Me: (Her name) is your initiate text function broken? (kind of callback humour, but I was being serious as well)

Her: It’s always broken Aladin, you know this! P.s. I got your facebook invite, Yew!

Me: I really like you, if you don’t feel the same, that’s ok, but if you do then start showing it. I’m not psychic. I’m over this passive bullshit.

Her: But that’s just how I am, i cant change just like that! You know I like you i’ve told you 100 times before!

I didn’t reply

4 hours later

Her: You’re mad at me aren’t u, that’s not fair. I’d understand you getting pissed off if we were going out but we’re not!

Me: I’m not cool with the fact that we have such a good time together, and if i didn’t make the effort, we’d never even talk.

Her: That’s the thing, we would, just not every day or every second day. I don’t speak to Mel for 3 wks sometimes and she’s my best friend!

OK man, you’re being needy here. She doesn’t want commitment. That’s for sure. But let’s just say that we don’t know what she is thinking (which we don’t). Let’s say she does but she’s confused. Let’s say she wants other guys. Deal with it. Do whatever you have to do in your mind so that you see her, maximize the enjoyment from the time that you spend together, and leave the rest of the BS alone. For this girl, I would occasionally ping her, but due to the flakyiness, just put her in the “fun times” girl that I didn’t necessarily want for anything more serious. Do you get it?

The other thing is dude, being logical with her over text message isn’t going to change her behaviour. Change her mood, not her mind. Have fun times with her and with other girls and friends. Build your social life. Show that you have passion and purpose outside of girls and her. This long form attraction will help you.

I deleted the messages and I can’t remember the couple we exchanged after this, but I don’t know what to do from here. Looking back, I know my texts sound really needy and I regret sending them, but it’s done now and I can only move forward, despite how much value I’ve lost. I haven’t spoken to her in 5 days now and am considering just not doing anything. My birthday’s in 2 weeks and I’ll probably see her there. Should I just forget about her?

You have slept with her before right? This makes a difference. Just confirming.

What does all the inner game training tell you? It tells you that you should just not attach so much importance to her. Have so much going on and so many positive things that she becomes a girl from “Last Train To Cheyenne” i.e. I would love to have you here with my but I’m going for my passion and purpose. I’ll do my best to keep you and please keep me, but if you don’t, I might be able to catch the last train to cheyenne to pursue my passion and purpose. Is this clear at all?

YOU CAN’T CHANGE HER MIND. So change the place that she takes in yours. How do you don hits? By disrupting the patterns first – i.e. avoid thinking about her the way that you normally do and do everything that you can to distract yourself from her. Then, by realising she is not a special snowflake – see: http://www.theattractionforums.com/b…4-oneitus.html.

Since meeting Mr M, my world has been rocked over and over again. I don’t know if I want a relationship now since I really want to improve my skills with girls and go supernova in every part of my life. I am studying at uni but I don’t feel like this my “true purpose”. At the moment, I seem to be asking “Who am I going with” before “Where am I going” and I know this is wrong.

I’m happy to lose this girl if it sounds like the best thing to do.

What do you ever lose? Do you ever lose and not gain? Can a loss even happen without a gain?

Talk to Mark V, one of our new instructors without an arm and HE will tell you about loss. Or rather, about the gain of losing his arm.

You never fully lose anything, you just open up new opportunities for yourself.

This girl is symptomatic simply of the fact that you are growing up and biologically your frontal cortex has not reached maturity yet. The “WHO AM I?” and “WHO WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE” are important questions that you SHOULD ask. And they are separate from any questions of this girl.

In Fire In The Belly, Sam Keen says that there are two crucial questions that a man must ask himself, and answer himself:

1) Where am I going?

2) With whom am I going with?

The biggest error, Keen says, is in asking them IN THE WRONG ORDER.

My man, you are still trying to figure yourself out. And that’s OK. You have to go through this process. As I said when I left Australia – “sometimes, to find yourself, you have to get a little lost”. You will one day come to terms with who you are, but in the interim, just focus on making yourself your BEST self in whatever way fulfils you. And go for it with 110%. Don’t dally about. Have passion and purpose. As Churchill said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation”.

As for her, she is just as confused as you are. Perhaps more so. Chicks 21 and below are all somewhat psychotic or unstable, especially hot ones. But DO NOT EVER FORGET THAT YOUR LIFE REVOLVES AROUND MUCH MUCH MORE THAN HER. And that EVERY SECOND that you spend ruminating about her (1) DOES NOT HELP YOU GET HER (i.e. you are far more attractive when you are doing your shit and inviting her to it, IF she wants to come (and if not, you’ll have a blast anyway – and if you are struggling to do this, then change your life)) and (2) more importantly, is a waste of a very precious life.

Man, I’m 28 now and being 23 was literally just yesterday. My only regret is the two years that I spend ruminating on a single girl. I don’t regret it because it is part of my character now, but I do regret it because of the time that I spent on it and the time that i could have spent on those precious years of my life.

Sa*&^, go have an adventure. Go become greatness in this world. Go effect change. And realize that to do so, you are going to have to struggle against yourself, as you are doing now, but the more you struggle, the more of a man that you become.

So, in summary, with regards to her – change the way she is in your mind. Change her place in your life if you have to or the way that you see it. Draw a boundary NOT WITH HER, but with your own behaviour and thoughts and if she comes back to you and says “what is going on”. Explain it calmly that you had to do this to be at peace with yourself.

In terms of your last paragraph, which you mentioned briefly, well, there is plenty of stuff on my personal blog which you now have access to (please do not share with anyone on this forum) on this – it is for my friends and family only. And I leave you with two quotes to help guide your decision:

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt

and

Sometimes to find yourself, you have to get a little lost

Hope that helps man.

Daytime Dating with Jeremy Soul comes out tomorrow!

Future — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:28:45 +0000

Folks, Jeremy Soul needs little introduction if you’re a fan of Love Systems. He’s the founder of Love Systems Daytime Dating program and one of the architects of Project Rockstar. He’s been featured in numerous articles and television sequences, and he’s consistently rated as one of the top dating coaches walking the Earth. If you’re reading any Love Systems blog, you already know this.

If you haven’t seen the video above, you should watch it. Look how genuine he is. Look at the delight in the girls’ faces as they speak to him. He makes it look easy, doesn’t he? The Soul you see in that video was, during a time not long ago, only a dreamed up fragment, perhaps wishful thinking, in an inchoate part of his past self’s mind. Now he is a man shaped in the crucible of his own will and passion, a living testament to the power of a Love Systems education.

For years he has been opening a world of possibilities for students the world over. Who hasn’t had his heartbeat adjusted on his morning commute to work? What man has never experienced that briefest moment of eye contact while walking down the street, maybe seen a smile flashed shorter than a systole, and wondered what it might be like if he seized that speck of time and spoke to one of these women who would otherwise be merely ghosts.

For thousands of students around the world Jeremy Soul has helped them understand how to do just that, a quest he undertakes with obvious empathy, passion, and genuine joy. He needs no more flattery from me. His effusive student reviews and numerous accolades speak for themselves. Oh, and I should mention that if you are thinking about getting live training from him, move fast. His programs sell out FAST.

That guy? He’s written a book.

Daytime Dating with Jeremy Soul

It’s the summary of what he has learned over years of approaching beautiful women and teaching other men how to share his success. It is written with the same actionable and warm manner with which Jeremy conducts his workshops, and it’s hard to read a single paragraph without the sense that this is a man who speaks with earned authority.

You’re in for a real treat.

For the first week of its release Daytime Dating will be $79. After that, the numbers of the price cruelly switch places. Ever after the 11th of August, Daytime Dating will be available for $97.

Love Systems releases Daytime Dating with Jeremy Soul

Advanced Boot Camp at the Playboy Mansion

Future — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 17:24:26 +0000

Savoy is like a groundhog pimp. When he comes out of hiding it’s a big deal. Once a year he runs the Advanced Boot Camp at the Playboy Mansion. This program is not like the normal Love Systems Comprehensive Workshop. We assume you will be able and willing to approach. We assume you have some knowledge of the material or consider yourself a remarkable pick-up artist in some regard. There will be guidance, but there will not be hand-holding. One of the most difficult issues in assembling boot camps is finding a venue worthy of students’ practice and instructors’ skills. This is not an issue when the program is held at the Playboy Mansion.

Advanced Love Systems Boot Camp at the Playboy Mansion

The last time we held this program, 7 of the 12 students took beautiful women home. Many of them had tawdry naked pictures from the legendary grotto. If you’ve never been to the Mansion it’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect. It’s a sexually charged environment where sexuality and physicality in general are a lot more permissible and are even encouraged by the open bar. Whether it’s exchanging numbers with Playmates or canoodling with porn stars, pretty much anything can happen at the Playboy Mansion.

Even better, you will be taught by some of the best in the business, bar none. No one, and I mean no one can talk about rapid escalation and threesomes the way Savoy can. Bonsai has spent the last year carving his niche as the go-to guy for strippers and silicone enhanced Los Angeles girls. And I’m a fucking ninja.

Look, if you’re reading this blog and you are on the fence, I’m not going to waste my energy trying to convince you. This is going to be a hilariously good time, it WILL sell out, and you have stunningly good odds to take home the most beautiful woman you’ve ever touched. You should have already clicked on the link.

Advanced Love Systems Boot Camp at the Playboy Mansion

Love Systems Asia Style, by Starlight

Future — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 23:17:19 +0000

Starlight posted a nice little piece about our Asian adventures on his blog here.

Asia is weird because you’re always running face-first into a societally enforced limiting belief that is, as usual, highly destructible in the face of a strong frame, comfortable escalation, and an understanding of female psychology.

It’s a fun article.

Quote Dump

Future — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:15:38 +0000

5 MARCH 2010
“I want to get good with girls. I want to find the right one. I want to meet my wife, and I want to have a daughter. Then I want to protect my daughter from guys like me.”

7 MARCH 2010
“It’s been really nice talking to you ladies, but I think it’s time for you to give me your wallet.”

9 MARCH 2010
“At what point does caring what you look like become vanity, and at what point does vanity become a problem?”

“Whatever, I’m hot.”

18 MARCH 2010
[said to a half-black, half-Middle Eastern girl] DAN: “I find your lack of rhythm ethnically implausible.”

3 APRIL 2010
HER: “What sign are you?”

ME: “Aquarius. What about you. Are you a Gemini or a Leo?”

HER: “I’m a Leo.”

ME: “And what sign are your breasts?”

HER: “Sagittarius. December 12.”

23 APRIL 2010
ME: “Dan, we may have to invent new funeral procedures for you. I don’t think you should be burned or cremated. I think you should be bronzed.”

DAN: “I’m not going to die.”

25 APRIL 2010
“Lady, don’t ever take a walk of shame. That is the stride of pride.”

“She was so hot she was charred. I expected to find grill marks on her back when I took her shirt off.”

MAY 2010
GIRL: “I don’t even know you.”

Guy gets out his phone.

GIRL: “What are you doing?”

GUY: “I’m calling my mom, so I can get to know you before we go back to my place.”

2 JUNE 2010
GIRL: “You have B.O. You smell like a smelly man.”

GUY: “Bullshit. I smell like hunter/gatherer.”

8 JUNE 2010
GIRL: “What does your tattoo mean?”

ME: “What should I fear, so soon to die?”

GIRL: “So you’re saying you have HIV?”

Jeremy Soul on Relationships

Future — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 17:30:57 +0000

Jeremy Soul recently posted a terrific blog entry about his contentment with his love life that was pretty great, but that’s not really news. Jeremy is a juggernaut of killer content. The reason I’m writing this post is to draw attention to a post to which he linked in his most recent update that really spoke to me.

Jeremy Soul on Quality vs Quantity in Love/Sex Relationships

I don’t think I have much to say to add to the discussion there except to say I am constantly torn between the virtues of quantity and quality. On the one hand, I have the libido of a 13-year-old boy, and I am constantly attracting women who want to sleep with me as a side effect and virtue of my job. On the other hand the reason I teach qualification the way I do is to help men develop standards for themselves and not go to sleep in the bed next to somebody while feeling utterly alone. There are only so many minutes in the day and so many days in our lives, and if you taint your moments with too many people the disappearance of whose numbers would not affect you, you need to unfuck your dating pool.

Qualification is how you do this, which is why I tell my students that qualification is the most important part of seduction, but that tends to fly out the window when I am faced with a beautiful creature staring at me adoringly through almondine eyes even though she can’t form a coherent sentence (if I’ve dated you and you’re reading this, I’m probably not talking about you. Unless it’s you. Yes, you. You know who you are, clown shoes. You’re the reason I had to develop standards for myself.)

I don’t have an answer. I’ve been on every conceivable side of infidelity outside of breaking the boundaries of my own marriage. I have dated up and down the social, intellectual, and aesthetic totem pole. While I’d love to say I have Soul’s restraint when it comes to spoon-feeding idiot children who were blessed with a visually pleasing phenotype, I cannot say so honestly. I’m a wunderkind when it comes to enforcing my boundaries, but I definitely find myself in situations where I should know better because, duh, I provided validation for inadequate qualification.

Anyway, yeah. Soul’s a genius.

While I’m pimping other instructors’ blogs, I have to single out Braddock’s post on having fun when going out. I try to hammer this point with my students, and I think Braddock’s example of the “Boo” game is arguably one of the funniest and best examples of group-based hi jinks I’ve ever heard of. I laughed out loud when I read that post. Braddock and Helicase are frigging hilarious.

Love Systems Publishes Beyond Words

Future — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 15:00:59 +0000

Alright guys, it’s here.

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Beyond Words: Body Language and Physical Escalation with Cajun and Vercetti

Love Systems is not the Mercedes Benz of dating companies. We are the Maserati of dating companies. Not just any old Maserati. We’re so far ahead of the pack we’re the 2020 models. If you think I’m being hyperbolic, go read a review.

Even in our top notch teaching staff, some people stand out for their specific skills. Soul, of course, has daytime dating on lock. Savoy is like the Threesome Whisperer. I have my forte, but I won’t toot my horn here. And no one can sleep in a soft feather bed at a comfortable room temperature the way Starlight can.

But we’re here to talk about Body Language

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Please don’t close this window just because there’s a Canadian in that video. That’s no ordinary lumberjack, friends. That’s Love Systems superstar instructor Cajun. Listen to what the man with the strange accent has to say. It’s frigging gold.

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there.

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I understand if you’re having a moment to yourself. I get that you might be feeling your heterosexuality vaguely under assault due to the sheer masculine energy those dudes exhibit. I won’t even blame you for licking the screen. I know I did. Twice. When I recovered from the resulting electric shock I knew I had to see these DVDs, and I begged Savoy for an advance copy. (Oh, and the bloke in the video has a blog. His name is Vercetti. Get used to the name.)

Gentlemen, I’ve seen these videos in their entirety, and they are absolutely, utterly out of this world. One of the most critical points all heartbreakers in training need to learn is good body language and good subtextual communications. I repeat this ad nauseum (literally; I once threw up on a student mid-sentence) during my boot camps: DO NOT ASK PERMISSION TO TALK TO WOMEN. I have often considered spending an entire workshop on the subject of body language.

Now I don’t have to. This is it: THE definitive product on good body language and effective physical escalation.

Why are you still reading this? Get with the clicking!

Beyond Words: Body Language and Physical Escalation with Cajun and Vercetti

I’ll leave you guys with another excerpt, this one from 5.0, with whom you may choose to roll after watching his video.

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Why are you still reading? Click the goddamned link and buy the DVDs already!

Beyond Words: Body Language and Physical Escalation with Cajun and Vercetti

Exciting Love Systems Stuff This Week

Future — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 07:54:37 +0000

There’s a lot of really cool stuff coming down the Love Systems pipeline this week.

First and foremost is the language and physical escalation DVD with Vercetti and Cajun. I already jizzed all over them yesterday, so I’ll hold back my effusion this time. I can’t put it more plainly than if you are reading this blog you want this DVD. It’s that simple.

Next I want to let people know Big Business is going to be teaching his Humor, Improv, and Attraction seminar in Chicago this weekend. One of my best weapons in this art is my sense of humor, but I am not qualified to teach people how to be utterly fucking hilarious like me. Big Business is. He was teaching improv BEFORE he joined Love Systems, and he brings that knowledge to the classroom in a way that most people simply aren’t qualified to teach. Thinking on your feet and coming up with the next thing to say is most guys’ Achilles heel, so if you find yourself stumbling dumb through conversations with women, and you’re in the Chicago area, make sure you sign up for BB’s program.

Finally, there are still spots for my Hong Kong program this weekend. Last time we had a program in HK we damn near blew the roof off the place. Don’t take my word for it. Here’s a review. If you want to see how we do it in Asia, make sure you sign up for the boot camp this weekend. There are only a couple spots left.

Braddock, Cajun, and Tenmagnet have programs this weekend, too, but if you’re too much of a pussy to take a flight to Hong Kong to learn this stuff, maybe you’re too much of a pussy for me to teach.

Just kidding! Ha ha ha! If you’re in Los Angeles or Toronto, you should take their programs.

The Secret Powers of Time, Repost

Future — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 06:16:26 +0000

Savoy already posted this on his blog, and Cajun originally sent it out to the LS internal mailing list, but I found it so interesting I wanted to repost it here. Enjoy.

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Beyond Words: The Art of Body Language and Physical Escalation – Home Study Course – Limited DVD Launch

Future — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 09:54:21 +0000

There are a handful of changes men can make to dramatically improve their skills with women. It’s no secret that one of the secrets to learning Love Systems is keeping conversations going. I’ve made a big deal on this blog about the importance of opening– not even opening well, just opening. Managing logistics and the fine art of proper teasing are also of paramount importance.

But ask any woman, and somewhere in her top three most crucial factors in sizing up a potential mate is going to be body language. I’m well-known for my prolixity, and my seductive style relies heavily on clever use of language, but in my travels across the world the power of strong body language has been a point of education over and over again when seducing girls who don’t know a word of English.

Beyond Words: The Art of Body Language and Physical Escalation with Cajun and Vercetti

Having made that case I can’t think of any instructors from whom you ought to learn body language beyond Cajun and Vercetti. Both of these guys are trained actors with serious credentials, and they’ve taken their knowledge and experience from the stage and screen and parlayed both into an actionable, sensible, and repeatable system to transform you from a shambling sub-person broadcasting your fear with every gesture into a suave gentleman with the deliberate, calm, and powerful aura that makes women shiver from across the room.

This product has been a long time coming, and with Vercetti and Cajun at the helm the end result is not only informative but also entertaining. Supplies are limited, not in a marketing gimmick way but in a way that I mean to explain there aren’t a lot of copies, so if you don’t get yours now you might be effed until demand requires we make more, whenever that might be.

Get with the clicking.