Starlight and Future’s Excellent Asian Adventures
No bullshit: Starlight and I wrote a book on how to pick up women in Asia.
If you guys haven’t received word, Starlight and I put together a little promotional e-book for people living in and around Asia. There’s some new stuff and some old stuff, but overall we’re pretty proud of the final result. It’s got stories and tips from Starlight’s and my eponymous adventures in Asia as well as some good information from my boy Blue Mystery.
Excerpted:
“Her tattoo was a dragon that perched on her shoulder and trailed in a thin line down her back. It was audacious and feminine somehow, and it had stopped at the bar. I swooped in and shouldered her out of the way.
You’re hot enough to get served second,” I said into her ear without looking at her. She looked appalled. “I love your tattoo. What’s your name?”
“Mai,” she said.
“Why are girls in Hong Kong so grabby?” I scream-said into her ear.
“What do you mean?” she said with a laugh.
“Even just walking around, even dancing with other guys, I feel like every girl in here is trying to give me a massage with their asses,” I said, checking her with my hips. “Like you did just now.”
“Who are you?” she said. It’s the tone when they ask, emphasis on that second word. That’s when you know you’ve stood out…”
If you have any questions or comments about the book or about picking up women in Asia, by all means say something in the comments or send me an e-mail at future@lovesystems.com. We’re really excited for this tenth (or so) program across the Pacific, and we’ll need your help to make these the best ones we’ve ever run.
Porn, Fidelity, and Masturbation
When I think about my future wife, especially the mother of my future children, it really worries me that I won’t stay faithful. My eye wanders, and my skill is always going to be in my back pocket. I like to hold an image of myself as a good man by whatever relativistic standards I judge myself, and whatever else I am, I consider cheating on my significant other to be anathema (although I’ve done it in the past) and I have little faith in open marriages. Not for you, by the way. Maybe your open relationship is a case study, but I know my instincts and my guts and my proclivities, and I promise I’d be too territorial, and I kind of expect a little bit of that from my wife as well.
Does that mean I have to marry an idiot? Do I have to entwine myself with someone who’s hot but not quite sly enough to catch my wandering, or someone who’s submissive enough, enough of a whore in spirit, that she won’t protest my dallying? Should every guy or girl just get a cheat week? I don’t really have an answer. I know I don’t want to be the sort of husband who cheats on his wife, but I know how I bristle when I feel my priorities being folded into my woman’s. Is that churlish and adolescent, or is it another slit in another veil I have to machete. I came from a married couple, after all, and I’d like the chance to be a better father than mine (you’ll probably never read this, but I love you, Dad.). What sort of lesson do I teach my daughter if I’m out banging strange whenever I get bored or annoyed with Mommy?
More after the jump.
T.E. Lawrence on Dreams
T.E. LawrenceThis, therefore, is a faded dream of the time when I went down into the dust and noise of the Eastern market-place, and with my brain and muscles, with sweat and constant thinking, made others see my visions coming true. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.
Adele is Finally Dating Again? Sign me up!
I love her music. I think she’s insanely talented. I’m not going to be petty and mean here. I’m going to let preterition and your imagination do the heavy lifting. If you look at Adele her music makes sense. It’s our fault, you hear me, ladies? We men are superficial scumbags, and that’s all there is to it. Awful business.
More after the jump…
Patrick Rothfuss on Seeing a Beautiful Woman
Patrick Rothfuss"If we were living in a better age they'd build a temple around a woman like that.”
The Friend Zone, Part 2 – Getting out of the Friend Zone
Yesterday I wrote a bit about preventing yourself from being shunted into the friend zone. I’m sure it resonated for a lot of you, especially the guys who are going out and actively trying this stuff. Not all friend zoning happens from a cold approach, though. When you’re dealing with your social circle things get more complicated. That girl in your class or office is another issue. The last thing you want is to send the wrong signals and find yourself ostracized from your social circle or fired from your job.
Two things I watch out for from potential Friend Zone girls is a.) her talking about her boy problems or b.) being too much of a friend.
For (a.), just shut it down. I am fairly blatant, so I’ll actually yawn and say, “I don’t want to talk about your relationships. Like, at all” before changing the subject. If she persists, I’ll find an excuse to leave or bring up something random like, “I wonder who would win if a leopard and a cheetah had a boxing match.” What you are avoiding is being seen as a valid deposit point for all her concerns and misgivings and amusements regarding another dude. You don’t have to be as blatant, but don’t treat that conversation topic as the moment to start really hearing her heart.
For (b.), I mean spending lots of time around her. Remember that we’re bringing this all back to frame control, so if you spend a lot of time in the friend zone, its walls become stronger. You don’t have to amputate her from your life, but I strongly recommend you be more distant, harder to reach, and DEFINITELY see other women, especially if you can date someone who is ostensibly hotter. Or, uh, better. By that I mean that the girl has something the non-friend doesn’t. She owns her own business, has a PhD, or is a wildly different personality type. Some point of contrast. Beauty is just the most universal and explosive item, and it’s probably one that’s close to your heart anyway. You might actually WANT the original girl more, but the point is to inspire jealousy. What she does with that emotion can be capricious, but the point is that her negative emotion was caused by you being with someone else.
::sigh:: I hate this kind of conniving BS, but it WORKS. Jealousy is the most powerful way to find our you’re attracted to something or someone. Your non-friend may say awful things about the girl you’re dating, but that’s a GOOD THING. If you’re dating less attractive women or women with a less remarkable resume, just keep it in the area of rumors. Be unreachable or unable to make plans because of dates.
When the context is appropriate, do the stuff from my last post. Tell her you desire her, but you’re living your life. She can have a friendship, but you’re still going to try to get with her. Thecombination of
a.) whatever initially drew her to you
b.) the distance as an obstacle and
c.) the other girls as a jealousy spike
will wear down her adherence to the friend zone. This is what usually happens when friends become lovers, by the way. No game required. The guy shows passing interest, and she demurs. She sees him living his life, thriving with other girls, and she worries that she missed her shot. She reevaluates the guy through the lens of preselection, even if it makes her angry. A lot of times she’ll even pick up the momentum.
Hope this helps.
The Friend Zone, Part 1 – Avoiding the Friend Zone
Every guy knows how frustrating is when you get thrown into the friend zone. Follow this advice so you can stop it from happening in the first place.
Raw Fiction Pictures present The Art of Pick-up
The fine folks at Raw Fiction pictures made a cool documentary, “The Art of Pick-Up,” featuring the Love Systems crew, and it will probably be the best sixteen minutes you’ve had this week.
Returning to Beatrice
Recently, Soul was kind enough to repost my most popular article, “Kill Beatrice” on his blog here. Someone sent him an e-mail that reflects a lot of what I’ve heard about the article over the years, and Soul put it on his blog as a subject of discussion. I put a lot of thought and energy into my reply, so I wanted to repost it here. If you’re a returning reader, you know my blog can go long.
This is a discussion about the virtue of monogamy against its alternatives and how monogamy and love stand against the frequently espoused practices of the putative pick-up artist lifestyle (if there can be said to be such a thing).
Getting Called Out For Using Love Systems
I received a message recently from a guy who was still reading The Game, and he wanted to know if this stuff was for real. The short answer is: Yes. The only pack of lies in that book are the actual events that happened to Style. The more anthropological stuff is 100% legitimate.
There’s a long answer, though, isn’t there?
Be a Rock: Frame Control in Seduction
When I teach my Love Systems workshops, the first thing I teach after the Triad Model as a whole is the key importance of understanding frames and frame control. Prior to that I urge my students to break their wrists taking notes because the fullness of the instruction might not be clear until they’ve practiced for a few years, the way frame control was not really clear to me until I’d already been retooling guys’ lives for a couple years. For years I watched other teachers rattle on about the concept and had only a nodding appreciation for the profundity of this concept.
In order to understand frame control, you first have to understand the concept of frames. Briefly, a frame is the underlying emotional meaning, usually assumed, implied, or understood, of a human interaction. I’ve heard different definitions, but this one hews closest to my own understanding and the way it was hammered into my teaching alongside Sinn for so long. In any given social transaction there is an assumption you carry with you, and that assumption charges everything about that interaction. This is one of the most powerful aspects of human behavior anyone can learn. I’ll do my best to explain it.
How to Talk Dirty. NSFW. At all.
“Instructors / advanced guys: here’s sticking point I have that I’d appreciate some help in. It’s talking to girls while in bed. I’m usually silent, or will just say something like “do you like that,” “does that feel good,” or “that feels good,” all of which are pretty damn generic, unexciting, and not reflective of what I’m actually thinking. Even when a girl asks me what I want her to do, or what I’m thinking, I rarely respond with anything more than a 2 word answer. I’m honestly just shy about telling a girl that I love fucking her, telling her how good her pussy feels, etc. I know it would really make sex better and more enjoyable for me (probably for her too?), but part of me is afraid that she’d be like “that’s weird dude.” Did you ever encounter this yourself? Is there anything I can do besides “JUST DO IT” or is there a way to ease into it that you’ve found worked for you when you were just learning?
To which I replied…
How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work
Step 1:
Don’t get into long distance relationships, you idiot.
I Just Got Divorced. What Do I Do?
A student of mine recently posted the following to the Lounge:
“What’s up everyone? I took my bootcamp back in Miami back in 2006…with Future and some other instructors. It was an amazing experience, and really catapulted my game to a strong level. I was getting GREAT results consistently.
Shortly after that, I met my (ex)wife. She was hot, sexy, accomplished…and fucking crazy. We were together just under 2 years…now I’m back out on the scene:/”
To which I replied…
Video Blog #1 is up!
I just started a video blog. OBVIOUSLY it’ s gonna be a masterpiece.
The first vblog is for intermediate to advanced guys, and the topic is gettin’ rusty.
If you guys have any thoughts, comments, suggestions, or raging insults to level at me, please send them my way.