Futuristic Words

Congratulations to all the students who completed the workshop in San Francisco this weekend. I have high hopes for all of you. Vercetti and Big Business, I really appreciate the help. You gentlemen make it easy to forget that running workshops is a job because the whole experience is so easy with such ridiculously competent fellow instructors. Starlight, thanks for your hospitality at the tail ends of the weekend. You’re a prince.

I have scheduled a pair of boot camps for December.

New York: 4-6 December
Los Angeles: 11-13 December

If you’re interested, contact Love Systems either through the company website or by calling (310)836-0150.

If you do sign up for either of those boot camps, you will be treated to the sight of a man newly victorious.

“Newly victorious, Future?” you ask.

Yes.

“But why?”

I’m glad you asked. Because this November, I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month, or “NaNoWriMo” as the cool kids have been known to call it. For those of you who haven’t heard of NaNoWriMo, it’s pretty simple: one month, 50,000 words. I’ve toyed with the idea of spending an entire November huddled around a pot of coffee for eight hours a day while ranting about gerunds and fireballs since I first heard about NaNoWriMo in 2007, but this time I’m going to put my money where my dreams and delusions of grandeur are.

I’ve set up a contest with some of my friends to make the entire event a little more interesting. Everyone contributes $300 before NaNoWriMo begins. Everyone participates in NaNoWriMo. Those who get to 50,000 words get their $300 back. If you get to 49,999 words or less, you are assed out $300 bucks this Christmas shopping seasons. Money left behind is split by the participants who can now finally call themselves novelists when they look in the mirror each morning.

If you live in the New York area and would like to join me in this little adventure/competition, leave a comment (because I’m vain and like comments on my blog entries) and contact me at future@lovesystems.com (because you need to know where and when to drop off your $300 as well as to participate in whatever weird support group this thing will probably end up being). To prevent your message from being lost in the shuffle of my daily e-mail deluge, please include the word NANOWRIMO in your subject if you’re going to make 2009 the year you finally wrote your novel, and you’re willing to put a new iPhone/new PS3 on it. We’re putting the money together this week, so time is of the essence.

Oh, Onion News Network, you are a constant source of amusement.

All my creative attention has turned to my novel, a fantasy piece set in the modern day I plan to officially start for National Novel Writing Month. I’m 28, and I’ve had a book lingering in my brain for as long as I can remember. Time to put up or shut up.

It’s been a strange week in the world of skin and whispers. In two cases, Breakthrough Comfort did its thing, and even though I was explicit about the terms of the respective relationships, it did not assuage the angst these girls felt. An LJBF converted (again, BTC) and another reverted (she found a boyfriend). Some old flames returned, and some insanely beautiful women arbitrarily started qualifying themselves to me in a context outside stand-up comedy. Also, some very special drama manifested regarding two ex-girlfriends. Fuck, I am exhausted.

Braddock and I talked about same-night seduction when he was leading his seventy-two workshops in New York recently. If this year’s been any indication, I’ve found a way to generate the same intense results in a night—in an hour sometimes—but Braddock predicted the complication of girls getting too attached too quickly, i.e. the difficulty in modulating the Destiny/Golden Mirror switches in the Breakthrough Comfort model. He and Helicase and dahunter strongly favor a Shock and Awe model, with heavy teasing and strong logistical control mixed with unrelenting escalation. I bristle at the notion of walking into a venue as a wrecking ball of sexuality—it feels very Night at the Roxbury to me– but I don’t see an alternative if I don’t want girls crying over my behavior and raging about their senses of entitlement* when it comes to potential relationships.

I bristle because I go out of my way, perhaps too far out of my way, to practice empathy. One of the more insidious aspects of dating so much is a forced nonchalance to any eventuality. This girl will do this in this amount of time, this girl will do that. It’s true that people will always surprise you on a long enough timeline, but they are also predictable within a certain model. It takes a lot of contortion and comfort and peeling away layers of vulnerability before you can see any individual’s special snowflake, and with a lot of people all you find is the ORE that will eventually allow for such a unique design. Young girls especially are unrefined potential, usually, and it’s rare to find a fully-formed, fully-conscious 21-year-old (of either sex, really). Constantly seeing the same behaviors over and over again can make a man jaded and start to believe the SUISC truism that makes me bite through my tongue with anger: she’s not special. Ugh. Every time I see it or hear it or think it or—God help me—believe it, I want to stab the nearest baby. The world is a cold, ugly place if you don’t endeavor to find each individual’s specific human dignity. Shit, even if I eventually discover that I despise a given person, I hope I can do so after unraveling the real person beneath the persona he or she wears when facing the world at large.

Big Business pointed out that thus to really connect, you have to maintain a perfect dichotomy of opposite feelings: you have to believe in your gut that She is not special, this girl you’re talking to, because she won’t be attracted to someone who rewards her for that which she has not earned… yet you must be ready to connect at the soul-level when the chance presents itself if you’re going to have a romantic/sexual/intimate experience with any meaning.

For all the pain of separation in this past week, I have had much joy in connection; I have ridden a sine curve. The drama has been hard on my heart but educational. I am blessed to have this perspective.

Also, there is no love in the world. Only pain:

I can’t repeat enough how amazing our crew at Love Systems is. I just sifted through their various blogs, and I feel like I attended a seminar myself. Thanks so much for the knowledge, guys:

Braddock’s Blog – I remember when Braddock was a ridiculously promising approach coach. He is now a fucking powerhouse font of knowledge, wisdom, and experience. One of the things I am most excited about for the Love Systems Super Conference is the opportunity to run game with him, listen to his seminar, and otherwise learn at his feet. You probably know that if you are here. If you don’t, here’s LS Instructor Braddock on the Tyra Banks show:

Braddock is one of the funniest people I’ve met, up to and including my peers in New York’s stand-up comedy scene. His blog reflects that, but every now and then he drops knowledge that sends me reeling. To wit:

Why Do I Want a Girlfriend and Want to Bang Every Girl That Moves – Why indeed? As Braddock points out, this is not new data if you’ve read The Red Queen or Sperm Wars, but the section he quotes is a testament to Braddock’s ability to isolate useful information and apply it to his pedagogy.

His interview with Mr. M., Part 2 – God. He just nails some points here. I’ll just say I was humbled when I read this.

Bonsai on Why You Want to Learn to Pick Up a Stripper to Improve Your Game – When I was working with Mystery in the early days, I fell victim to the social pressure that dating strippers was cool. They are ridiculously hot and usually, if they’re not sexually blocked because of whatever issues prompted them to jump on the pole, they’re like demigods in bed. The magic stops there. I had three especially drama-filled stripper situations, and I am a bit skittish about getting back on that horse. That said, Bonsai’s article is a wonderful read because whatever else you say about strippers, picking a beautiful stripper up at the strip club is harder than picking up any other girl anywhere.

Keychain – Keychain and I have spent a pretty serious chunk of hours together during the two bootcmaps we’ve worked, and I cannot wait to see him again at the Super Conference. I would teach every boot camp with him if he wasn’t a damned European because our styles are so very, very different. I am Jolt Cola, and he is red wine. He asked me to comment on his recent post, and I thought it was going to about game. He knows me too well. This post is him being righteous and lovely about people in the SUISC who mangle the English language. Funny as that is, I think this is one of the best primers on approaching during the daytime you’ll ever see.

Vercetti’s Assumption Game – We teach about sexually reframing what a girl says, and we talk about sexual or positive misinterpretation, but Vercetti provides some absolutely perfect examples and gives an incredibly thoughtful explanation of the hows and whys. I utterly love hanging out, working with, and teaching next to Vercetti. His blog is jammed to the neck with great information, and as I read it I can see the echoes of what he is writing in his manner in person. He is a wonder at translating his experiences to actionable teaching.

5.0 “I run out of things to say to girls” – This is one of the top three problems guys deal with on boot camps.* I see it every single week. 5.0 here breaks down clearly and usefully how to tackle an issue that nearly every guy who starts to learn this stuff will eventually encounter. I don’t know too many guys learning this stuff who couldn’t stand to read this entry, um, fifty times.

Tenmagnet on Getting a Woman to Leave in the Morning – Christ, Ten, where was this article four years ago when I started understanding how to talk to girls? I had to learn the hard way. Braddock and Sinn have a special memory of Future’s least tactful ways to usher a girl from an apartment. This is much better, and you have less risk of your building being burned down than some of the more bold approaches I’ve taken.

Also, Tenmagnet analyzes a letter for Mystery authorship – This might only be funny if you know Mystery, but I was laughing out loud. It’s always fun to tease the Dungeon Master.

Big Business on Closing at Their Place – BB used to live in one of Manhattan’s armpits, a little smegma deposit called Astoria. If he didn’t want to have his wang hitchhike away, he had to figure out how to manage logistics such that he ended up with the girl at her own place. My current abode is somewhat uninviting, so I have this shit bookmarked. Also, BB is a human laugh riot.

Soul on Insta-Dates – I’ll confess I’ve advocated Insta-Dates during daytime approaches, but I can’t disagree with Soul here. I still say try for the insta-date, but he’s right that it won’t necessarily go anywhere. My schedule in New York demands that I do a bunch of daytime approaches. I’m an expert, but I still have to cede to Soul. I learn every fucking time the guy opens his mouth on the subject.

Starlight on The Playboy Mansion – This damned dirty son of a bitch pulled a Playboy cage dancer out of the Playboy mansion and came to seminar the next day with bruises on his chest. This while Future lost his phone with, say, seventy incredible numbers on it. Yes, some of them found me through Facebook, so it’s not the end of the world, but the entire experience was enough for me to eschew alcohol for the foreseeable future. (I have a great write-up pending, but I fear I won’t be able to do the experience justice.) Starlight is just a stand-up guy** who radiates positivity, well-being, and success. Read the linked post if you want some inkling on how to handle a truly beautiful woman in a socially charged situation.

Savoy – He wrote Magic Bullets. If you’re here, you probably read his blog. I never, ever stop learning from him. Nothing more need be said.

There you have it. Incredible, dynamic, interesting, intelligent men flooding your brain with powerful information on how to handle one of life’s core issues. The best part is yet to come: every single one of these guys will be at the Love Systems Super Conference 8 October through 13 October:

The Super Conference is probably the highlight of the year for most of us LS instructors. We rarely get a chance to BS and socialize and game and learn and teach together. I’m getting excited just typing this, and you should have already clicked away.

Peace be with you.

*—It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what the biggest of the three are, but they are: failure to approach, failure to speak, and failure to escalate. Ironically, these three major issues correspond to taking the first steps on the Love Systems Triad Model (pdf link). Savoy’s a fucking genius.

**—Literally. He’s one of our tallest instructors, the cunt, and if I wasn’t such a huge fan, I’d love to see him get his knees removed. Don’t worry, Savoy, Helicase, and Braddock, I’ll call you cunts in some other post.

I already knew that our old lead instructors were the stuff of legends. Before I returned to Love Systems, I had shared many fond adventures with the rapscallions who were lead instructors when I was with the company before. Since I started working bootcamps again, I have been consistently impressed by the incredible people who currently work for Love Systems. Soul, Keychain, Calabrese, Starlight, Vercetti, 5.0, Biskit, Prestige, and Big Business, it’s always nice to be around people who are kicking the world in half. I salute you.

This weekend was crammed with adventures in the land down under. The students seemed to get a lot of their experience in Sheriff’s boot camp, and I had some truly milestone mojo experiences. Some were more eventful than others.

This was one of the last classes I plan to use as a Breakthrough Comfort warm-up series; the material always hits with a bang, and I’m really excited about some of the newest developments toward actual implementation. When Sinn and I had our first eureka moment in Las Vegas, we instantly knew intuitively what switches had to be thrown in a pertinent interaction, but getting that to a teachable form was a hurdle I don’t think we ever successfully crossed when we were standing before audiences in 2007. The Golden Mirror is a tough concept for some guys to understand. I’d like to blame it on the bizarre fantasy novel name, but the truth is that it’s a bitch to teach guys how to render meaningful, honest compliments in a way that doesn’t betray neediness. We taught Style’s Elicitation of Values and gave examples of hard qualifying questions that would suit certain situations, but all the solutions felt like a crowbar.

This weekend, after much meditation and some hard discussions with Keychain, Big Business, and Sheriff, I think I finally fixed it.

I cannot wait to start sharing some of my observations with students.

I am remiss simply pimping my product. I am extremely excited to teach it, but here I must announce the same warning I attach to the beginning of the class itself: this is dangerous stuff, the raw clay of human emotions, so try to handle with care. The most common response I receive from guys who have taken the course is, “Holy shit, Future, that stuff is amazing, and it really works!” The second most common is, “Hey, Future, fuck you! That Breakthrough Comfort stuff worked, and it turns out that love hurts!”

You’ve been warned. I’ll be putting genuine seminar dates on the board in the next couple weeks.

Hey guys. Some quick updates:

1.) I might be giving a lecture at Columbia this Friday. If you happen to be in the NYC area, let me know, and I’ll get you the details. This seminar is about applying seductive principles to business strategies, so if you want more male-female stuff, this is not going to be your bag. If you want to see how to work a trade show or make a solid first impression on a potential customer/client, this could be right up your alley.

2.) I’ll be in Sydney 3-5 July teaching a bootcamp with Big Business and Sheriff. To say I’m excited would be a massive understatement. I’m going to try to attach a day of Breakthrough Comfort to 6 July if there’s enough interest. Call the office.

3.) I’ll be in Montreal 10-12 July teaching a bootcamp at the Montreal Jazz Festival with Cajun and Tenmagnet. The food is amazing, the women are eye-poppingly beautiful, and the entire evening workshop component will take place in a relaxed outdoor setting with great music. Sign up now!

Our workshop took us to a rooftop bar. The weather in New York threatened rain all day, so the venue had wisely erected giant umbrellas. Droplets teased us like air conditioner condensation from Heaven. A few of the students wanted to see me approach and open because while they had witnessed me wading through the Emotional Progression Model in a few interactions they hadn’t seen me work from a standing start. I looked around and walked toward the prettiest girl I could see outside the umbrellas, i.e. where the students could get a good view. She was wearing a tight white dress and hoop earrings. Her friends were a tiny girl in a red dress and a large man with a military moustache and a designer shirt.

“Hey, trouble,” I said…

…The students watched as I asked for her name and spun her and asked the normal questions but in statement form. “You look like you’re from out west. Not the Midwest, but more like Idaho or Montana. You have a kind way, but you seem hard.” I was wrong– she was from Long Island– but that didn’t matter.* We were cuddling in short order before her friend swooped in.

“She’s mine!” said the little girl draped in red.

“Suit yourself,” I said. “I’ve been telling her to get away from me.”

At this point Big Business tried to intercept. My girl in white was enthralled with me despite the interruption.**  I looked to the friends to make sure everything was okay. Her tall man-friend looked on with what I thought was approval. “You better take her number, dude. It looks like she really likes you!”

We chatted more. An attractive couple I had chatted with earlier in the night walked by and, as I asked them to do if they saw me with a cute girl, started cooing and praising me, demanding this girl see my stand-up comedy show.

Soon we were kissing in the rain. Hands, hair, and coy smiles.

“Okay,” I said. “Your friends are vanishing, and my friends are about to pull me away. I better do what your friend said. But we can’t ever talk to each other because it could be the end of the world. You really should stay awa from me.” She gave me her number, and I purposely made a mistake, which she corrected.

She walked back to her friends with my hand in hers. I still had my phone out and said, “I got it,” while making eye contact with her male friend, my co-conspirator.

“What?” he said, his eyes about sixteen shades angrier than I was expecting.

“I got her number like you told me to, killer,” I said. The “r” had not left my mouth before he had knocked my (9$!) drink out of my hand. My eyes widened, and I took a step back, dropping my copy of Blood Meridian and holding my hands up, never breaking eye contact. He’d been drinking, and he wasn’t puffing up or shouting. He just stared and sneered, snapping at his two friends.

The girl in red came quickly to me. “They’re in a relationship,” she said and went back to calm the guy down.

“Dude, I’m sorry,” I said, my hands still up.

“Fuck you,” he said.

Two other instructors dashed forward and tried to smooth things over. Calabrese repeated a few times, “Everything’s cool, man. Just walk away,” and the three eventually left, although the guy was still steaming and muttering bitterness to the girl in white.

Even in the immediate aftermath, I didn’t hold any malice toward the guy. How could I when he gave me my new favorite story? If anything, I empathized with this man with the unfortunate facial hair. While I’ve never been in that exact situation, I was in a relationship for a long time where the girl flaunted her sexual power in extremely painful ways. Like this guy, I had anger toward my girlfriend, but my real rage was directed to the guys who were putting their hands and cocks in and on My Girl. With her I had fitful conversations where I begged her to please, if she could maybe stop screwing or blowing anyone who showed her he bought condoms, that would be super. That frustration was a different experience from the need to wipe the slate clean, to abolish with blood her pristine(?) essence from the filthy hands of those thuggish interlopers who had the audacity to seduce her.

I hope this was a catalyst, that he’s telling his friends about tonight a year from now.  I hope this is the light from the sky where he realizes that she doesn’t really respect him, and he owes himself better than to invest energy and emotion in a girlfriend willing and eager to exhibit that sort of behavior.

That’s unlikely, though.

Tonight was probably just another tear in his tattered self-worth, yet another reminder that he is less than they both wish he was. For the rest of the night, I started my conversations by asking who was more fucked up in that situation. Girls unanimously said the girl was vastly more wrong, and guys were usually silent if they weren’t fist-pounding me. But I’m not so sure. Yes, she was wrong in that moment, but that moment isn’t their story. The really egregious business doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens during backed up traffic or missed appointments or flirting with friends or impatience with a bartender or waiter. The seeds of contemptuous behavior are strewn through every day, every interaction. All the worst crimes of a relationship are symptomatic of something else, unmet needs deeper in the core.

Good luck, sir, wherever you are, and peace be unto you. I appreciate that you didn’t take a shot at me… but I would have understood.

[UPDATE: Big Business feels it's appropriate to add that the girl in red and the guy were being, um, unpleasant. And they were. They were EXTREMELY antagonistic and saying ugly things to him and me, although I didn't hear it. Really, these just weren't the most charming people at the bar that night, the girl's tight white dress aside. Still, I think the guy's hostility is still a reflection of his overall insecurity and weakness, reflected yet again in his eagerness to turn his frustration into violence. Despite his douchery, I am compelled toward empathy because no one-- and I mean no one-- should have to watch his girlfriend make out with another guy right before his eyes.]

*– The key is to avoid the Routine Everyone Else Uses, and get the boring stuff answered in an interesting way. There are a whole slew of examples for this in the LS Routines Manual, by the way. My favorite, and the one I contributed to the LSRM, is to wildly and utterly confuse races, i.e. say a girl with an obvious African accent is from Korean, &c.

**– It is boring to recap. I was just spewing obvious sexual intent and pushing her away when the moment was right.