Posts tagged ‘new york’
A Story About Boundaries
A student on the Lounge asks:
“I’ve heard several of the top guys (Future, Vercetti, Tenmagnet, Mr.M, Braddock) talk about boundaries. Don’t let her treat you or talk to you a certain way, punish her bad behavior, etc.
A lot of times when a girl acts bitchy or does something that could be seen as rude my natural reaction is to laugh it off and not take it seriously, partly because I truly don’t care that much. In fact, I’ve cultivated this nonchalant side of my personality, where (almost) nothing girls say or do affects me.
So on one hand I’m being non-reactive and unaffected by her frame (good), but on the other I’m not punishing (or may even be rewarding) her poor behavior (bad?).
How do you reconcile the two?
I understand that when you set a boundary or do a take-away you shouldn’t do it in an emotional, “I’m hurt” way, but doesn’t the fact that you’re setting the boundary still mean that her behavior has a (negative) emotional effect on you, even if you’re not showing it ? Otherwise why would you correct it?”
To which I replied…
