Futuristic Words

Holy jebus, this is a great country. My favorite observation is a common meme here, that the English found an island paradise and used it as a penal colony. Whenever I’m in Toronto or Montreal, I am amazed at how nice Canadians are. And they are. Nice. But they’re kind in a way that seems meek, like they know their country is America’s awkward-fitting hat. I think it was Johnny Soporno who first pointed out to me that you could shove someone in Toronto, and he would apologize to you for being in your hand’s way. It’s only partly an exaggeration.

Aussies have been nice across the board so far, but they’re nice in a very different way, in a cool “Let’s have a beer then go punch a kangaroo!” way. Oh, and the women… Goddamn. Sydney is a temperate zone, with temperature extremes something akin to Los Angeles, the city is teeming with beaches, and it’s the richest city in Australia. The net result: lots and lots of beautiful women. The country’s proximity to Asia, of course, means that Future is a happy, happy camper; besides English and Arabic, Chinese is the most commonly spoken language here.

The city is considerably more expensive than I had anticipated, which is not a problem this time around since I am assisting another instructor and therefore don’t really have to pay for anything. Nonetheless, it’s daunting to purchae two diet sodas and hand over $8.00. Speaking of dollars, Australian money is the coolest money I’ve seen, tied with Hong Kong’s. I’m pretty sure the same people designed both currencies. The bills are plastic and vibrantly colored, and the larger bills have this weird cellophane strip that somehow prevents counterfeiting (all a Google Images search away, of course, but it’s not the same thing as having the plastic bills actually in your hands).

Synopsis: you should come to Australia.

Three orders of business before I write a blog entry for realsies:

a.) The Columbia talk went very, very well. I am not sure if the next one will be open to the public, but this time it was standing room only, and we went over time by 15 minutes with questions from audience members. As I mentioned before, the nature of the talk was completely devoid of dating science, just Future ranting about good old-fashioned first impression making using his real name. Hopefully this isn’t the last one. I’d like to eventually a.) open the guest list and b.) be able to talk more openly about the seduction aspect of this since it’s a topic that would be of interest to anyone remotely interested in social psychology. Time will tell.

b.) I’ve arrived in Sydney. If you haven’t found Thursday yet, the world does not end. I will be at the Montreal Jazz Festival next week, where Tenmagnet, Cajun, and I will teach some lucky guys how to pick up some of the most beautiful women in the world in an outdoor venue piping great music all the livelong day. If you’re not planning to go, what the Hell is wrong with you?

c.) THE BIG ONE: I checked my e-mail when I touched down, and Savoy confirmed some exciting news: I will be one of the instructors at the Advanced Boot Camp at the Playboy Mansion on 15-16 August 2009. I’ll bring this up some more– expect a much longer mention when I am officially released back into the wild as a lead instructor for LS– but here’s the deal for now:

1.) Playboy Mansion. Duh.
2.) Don’t suck. You don’t have to have taken a boot camp, but we DO want to have the quality of guy who has taken a boot camp. Savoy will be teaching techniques for A-level game and how to do well with celebrities and models and such, but he can’t turn a tadpole into a frog into a prince overnight.
3.) There’s a myth that it’s impossible to pick up girls at the Playboy Mansion. Don’t believe the hype. If there’s anything working with Love Systems has taught me it’s that women are women wherever you go in the world. People are people. If you don’t feel up to the challenge of being measured against high value men by women who are accustomed to being treated a certain way for their beauty, well, see #2.
4.) Holy. Fucking. Shit: this is going to be so much fun!

More later on The Most Fun You’re Going to Have This Year as the date approaches. If I’ve already sold you, go to the Love Systems website now!

Okay. Now for the meat:

I do not have the organizational ability, memory, logistical skill, or lifestyle to handle the volume of women in my life. It’s a good place to be, although it’s tiring and results in communications and behaviors that are not really worth my time. Complaining about this would be like complaining that a bank won’t take my money because they don’t accept deposits that large. Yes, my love life has real and shitty problems, but it’s not the sort of trouble that generates sympathy from someone listening.

After my last relationship ended, I was annihilated. After teaching Breakthrough Comfort recently, a student asked me how to gently massage the aches in the heart that come from love ripped asunder. I told him I’d let him know if I ever found out. To my knowledge the only solution is time. Sure, the SUISC will encourage you to Go Fuck Ten Other Women, and that might help stanch the wound, but it doesn’t do much to grab hold of the psychic furniture that belonged to Her and move it to the attic space reserved for lovers lost to the past. It doesn’t help the feeling of incompleteness as you lie alone in the bed next to someone whose name you only just learned. As far as I know, the only help you’ll get patching up your wounded heart is from a second hand ticking through the silence of yet more lonely nights. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and for months my melancholia was repellent to women. I took the disintegration of my relationship personally, deemed myself a failure because of the wasted effort time, energy, and emotion that I poured into my time with her. That sense of failure made me repellent to myself. It was almost like a massive Scotsman had broken in and taken away my ability to handle myself around the women I was talking to.

Months later, I was having a fine time with girls of little consequence, but every few weeks I would meet a  girl I genuinely liked and I find myself making unfortunate mistakes, mistakes that culminated eventually in me howling in the Friend Zone with three ecstatically beautiful women. None of these situations are hopeless– if you take Breakthrough Comfort, you’ll understand why the Friend Zone is not really a threat if you think long-term and maintain your integrity– but all three of these exceptional situations shared a common problem: I showed too much interest too quickly. Ironically, I was talking with several exes about the issue (not in a conference call), and each one mentioned either at length or in passing that certain otherwise eligible guys had committed the same crime and received the same waning interest. When the universe speaks, I listen.

(Isn’t it maddening when you make mistakes and you know better? I don’t mean in a calculated way but in the sense of just saying things you know are ridiculous or that you don’t even know why the words are coming out of your mouth– a situation that happens to typically coincide with tactically poor choices. The mouth opens and the words come out as if propelled outside any human volition, and you watch the movie as if from the other side of a mirror.)

Much of the impetus for this lay in my memories of some remarkable women. I reviewed the experiences– thank God for blogs and journals– and I found that my mind had distorted the facts. I was looking at the past through the lens of romance, seeing events during which I was fitter and funner, where the girls were more immediately attracted, where the love was an assumption from the beginning, not a slowly boiling miasma of feeings. While romance is certainly not the enemy of pragmatism, it is easily her rival. I reviewed my notes from times before, and the truth slowly took shape. When meeting my former girlfriends everything was not hunky-dory right off the bat. In reality, my dance card was full every time I met any girl important to me since I discovered the SUISC, and that legitimate abundance gave me the distance I needed to stymie my occasionally too-intense romantic inclinations when I meet a really special woman.

After my mojo returned and I started teaching again, I slowly started seeing the world again from a stance of abundance. In the past week, four women have voiced sharp vocal objections to my lack of attention. The girls in question are lovely and interesting and charming and sweet. In each case, my failure to communicate has been due to legitimate logistical difficulty or laziness on my part, not a lack of interest. Although the girls initially started their calls with vitriol or annoyance or passive-aggression, it wasn’t very hard to bend my mind to the notion that for all their pissy vim, they were mostly saying, “I like you, and I thought you liked me, and when you didn’t call, I was hurt and confused.”Options >>

There are a handful of ways to look at the change, all of which revolve around the means to cultivate a strong center and an internal sense of abundance. As usual, they devolve into the tactical versus the ethical, the path toward love and long-term relationship happiness and How to Get the Girl. Stay tuned.

I will be giving the talk at Columbia today. I’ve spent the last week tearing apart dating science ideas for the sake of the wider audience of a business school crowd, a group different from a normal Love Systems class because a.) they probably don’t have sex/romance as an ulterior motive and b.) the class has women in it. The talk is going to get recorded, so hopefully I’ll be able to post the audio here.

Also, I am definitely going to teach Breakthrough Comfort in Sydney and very likely in Montreal. If you are interested in signing up for the next phase of building your relationships with women– the part where you actually find a girl you really like and make CERTAIN she responds in kind– keep an eye on the Love Systems homepage and make sure to join me. I promise not only your money’s worth but an asbolutely blown mind.

Hey guys. Some quick updates:

1.) I might be giving a lecture at Columbia this Friday. If you happen to be in the NYC area, let me know, and I’ll get you the details. This seminar is about applying seductive principles to business strategies, so if you want more male-female stuff, this is not going to be your bag. If you want to see how to work a trade show or make a solid first impression on a potential customer/client, this could be right up your alley.

2.) I’ll be in Sydney 3-5 July teaching a bootcamp with Big Business and Sheriff. To say I’m excited would be a massive understatement. I’m going to try to attach a day of Breakthrough Comfort to 6 July if there’s enough interest. Call the office.

3.) I’ll be in Montreal 10-12 July teaching a bootcamp at the Montreal Jazz Festival with Cajun and Tenmagnet. The food is amazing, the women are eye-poppingly beautiful, and the entire evening workshop component will take place in a relaxed outdoor setting with great music. Sign up now!