Futuristic Words

I can’t repeat enough how amazing our crew at Love Systems is. I just sifted through their various blogs, and I feel like I attended a seminar myself. Thanks so much for the knowledge, guys:

Braddock’s Blog – I remember when Braddock was a ridiculously promising approach coach. He is now a fucking powerhouse font of knowledge, wisdom, and experience. One of the things I am most excited about for the Love Systems Super Conference is the opportunity to run game with him, listen to his seminar, and otherwise learn at his feet. You probably know that if you are here. If you don’t, here’s LS Instructor Braddock on the Tyra Banks show:

Braddock is one of the funniest people I’ve met, up to and including my peers in New York’s stand-up comedy scene. His blog reflects that, but every now and then he drops knowledge that sends me reeling. To wit:

Why Do I Want a Girlfriend and Want to Bang Every Girl That Moves – Why indeed? As Braddock points out, this is not new data if you’ve read The Red Queen or Sperm Wars, but the section he quotes is a testament to Braddock’s ability to isolate useful information and apply it to his pedagogy.

His interview with Mr. M., Part 2 – God. He just nails some points here. I’ll just say I was humbled when I read this.

Bonsai on Why You Want to Learn to Pick Up a Stripper to Improve Your Game – When I was working with Mystery in the early days, I fell victim to the social pressure that dating strippers was cool. They are ridiculously hot and usually, if they’re not sexually blocked because of whatever issues prompted them to jump on the pole, they’re like demigods in bed. The magic stops there. I had three especially drama-filled stripper situations, and I am a bit skittish about getting back on that horse. That said, Bonsai’s article is a wonderful read because whatever else you say about strippers, picking a beautiful stripper up at the strip club is harder than picking up any other girl anywhere.

Keychain – Keychain and I have spent a pretty serious chunk of hours together during the two bootcmaps we’ve worked, and I cannot wait to see him again at the Super Conference. I would teach every boot camp with him if he wasn’t a damned European because our styles are so very, very different. I am Jolt Cola, and he is red wine. He asked me to comment on his recent post, and I thought it was going to about game. He knows me too well. This post is him being righteous and lovely about people in the SUISC who mangle the English language. Funny as that is, I think this is one of the best primers on approaching during the daytime you’ll ever see.

Vercetti’s Assumption Game – We teach about sexually reframing what a girl says, and we talk about sexual or positive misinterpretation, but Vercetti provides some absolutely perfect examples and gives an incredibly thoughtful explanation of the hows and whys. I utterly love hanging out, working with, and teaching next to Vercetti. His blog is jammed to the neck with great information, and as I read it I can see the echoes of what he is writing in his manner in person. He is a wonder at translating his experiences to actionable teaching.

5.0 “I run out of things to say to girls” – This is one of the top three problems guys deal with on boot camps.* I see it every single week. 5.0 here breaks down clearly and usefully how to tackle an issue that nearly every guy who starts to learn this stuff will eventually encounter. I don’t know too many guys learning this stuff who couldn’t stand to read this entry, um, fifty times.

Tenmagnet on Getting a Woman to Leave in the Morning – Christ, Ten, where was this article four years ago when I started understanding how to talk to girls? I had to learn the hard way. Braddock and Sinn have a special memory of Future’s least tactful ways to usher a girl from an apartment. This is much better, and you have less risk of your building being burned down than some of the more bold approaches I’ve taken.

Also, Tenmagnet analyzes a letter for Mystery authorship – This might only be funny if you know Mystery, but I was laughing out loud. It’s always fun to tease the Dungeon Master.

Big Business on Closing at Their Place – BB used to live in one of Manhattan’s armpits, a little smegma deposit called Astoria. If he didn’t want to have his wang hitchhike away, he had to figure out how to manage logistics such that he ended up with the girl at her own place. My current abode is somewhat uninviting, so I have this shit bookmarked. Also, BB is a human laugh riot.

Soul on Insta-Dates – I’ll confess I’ve advocated Insta-Dates during daytime approaches, but I can’t disagree with Soul here. I still say try for the insta-date, but he’s right that it won’t necessarily go anywhere. My schedule in New York demands that I do a bunch of daytime approaches. I’m an expert, but I still have to cede to Soul. I learn every fucking time the guy opens his mouth on the subject.

Starlight on The Playboy Mansion – This damned dirty son of a bitch pulled a Playboy cage dancer out of the Playboy mansion and came to seminar the next day with bruises on his chest. This while Future lost his phone with, say, seventy incredible numbers on it. Yes, some of them found me through Facebook, so it’s not the end of the world, but the entire experience was enough for me to eschew alcohol for the foreseeable future. (I have a great write-up pending, but I fear I won’t be able to do the experience justice.) Starlight is just a stand-up guy** who radiates positivity, well-being, and success. Read the linked post if you want some inkling on how to handle a truly beautiful woman in a socially charged situation.

Savoy – He wrote Magic Bullets. If you’re here, you probably read his blog. I never, ever stop learning from him. Nothing more need be said.

There you have it. Incredible, dynamic, interesting, intelligent men flooding your brain with powerful information on how to handle one of life’s core issues. The best part is yet to come: every single one of these guys will be at the Love Systems Super Conference 8 October through 13 October:

The Super Conference is probably the highlight of the year for most of us LS instructors. We rarely get a chance to BS and socialize and game and learn and teach together. I’m getting excited just typing this, and you should have already clicked away.

Peace be with you.

*—It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what the biggest of the three are, but they are: failure to approach, failure to speak, and failure to escalate. Ironically, these three major issues correspond to taking the first steps on the Love Systems Triad Model (pdf link). Savoy’s a fucking genius.

**—Literally. He’s one of our tallest instructors, the cunt, and if I wasn’t such a huge fan, I’d love to see him get his knees removed. Don’t worry, Savoy, Helicase, and Braddock, I’ll call you cunts in some other post.

If you’re reading this, there’s an excellent chance you saw the Love Systems appearance on the Tyra Banks show last Friday. I don’t know how much I can add that Braddock and Savoy haven’t already discussed, but it was great seeing our company framed in such a positive light. I echo Braddock’s wish that Tyra had taken the time to delve into the Love Systems products and the boot camp experience in greater detail. We are doing missionary work, enriching the dating landscape by adding interesting men to women’s prospective evenings.

I will be in Orlando next weekend. 31 July – 2 August, with Tenmagnet and Cajun.

Two weeks later, 15-16 August, I will be at the Playboy Mansion with Cajun, dahunter, and Savoy at the Advanced Boot Camp.

I’m still working out my schedule after that, but stay tuned. There’s some exciting stuff in the works.

Three orders of business before I write a blog entry for realsies:

a.) The Columbia talk went very, very well. I am not sure if the next one will be open to the public, but this time it was standing room only, and we went over time by 15 minutes with questions from audience members. As I mentioned before, the nature of the talk was completely devoid of dating science, just Future ranting about good old-fashioned first impression making using his real name. Hopefully this isn’t the last one. I’d like to eventually a.) open the guest list and b.) be able to talk more openly about the seduction aspect of this since it’s a topic that would be of interest to anyone remotely interested in social psychology. Time will tell.

b.) I’ve arrived in Sydney. If you haven’t found Thursday yet, the world does not end. I will be at the Montreal Jazz Festival next week, where Tenmagnet, Cajun, and I will teach some lucky guys how to pick up some of the most beautiful women in the world in an outdoor venue piping great music all the livelong day. If you’re not planning to go, what the Hell is wrong with you?

c.) THE BIG ONE: I checked my e-mail when I touched down, and Savoy confirmed some exciting news: I will be one of the instructors at the Advanced Boot Camp at the Playboy Mansion on 15-16 August 2009. I’ll bring this up some more– expect a much longer mention when I am officially released back into the wild as a lead instructor for LS– but here’s the deal for now:

1.) Playboy Mansion. Duh.
2.) Don’t suck. You don’t have to have taken a boot camp, but we DO want to have the quality of guy who has taken a boot camp. Savoy will be teaching techniques for A-level game and how to do well with celebrities and models and such, but he can’t turn a tadpole into a frog into a prince overnight.
3.) There’s a myth that it’s impossible to pick up girls at the Playboy Mansion. Don’t believe the hype. If there’s anything working with Love Systems has taught me it’s that women are women wherever you go in the world. People are people. If you don’t feel up to the challenge of being measured against high value men by women who are accustomed to being treated a certain way for their beauty, well, see #2.
4.) Holy. Fucking. Shit: this is going to be so much fun!

More later on The Most Fun You’re Going to Have This Year as the date approaches. If I’ve already sold you, go to the Love Systems website now!

Okay. Now for the meat:

I do not have the organizational ability, memory, logistical skill, or lifestyle to handle the volume of women in my life. It’s a good place to be, although it’s tiring and results in communications and behaviors that are not really worth my time. Complaining about this would be like complaining that a bank won’t take my money because they don’t accept deposits that large. Yes, my love life has real and shitty problems, but it’s not the sort of trouble that generates sympathy from someone listening.

After my last relationship ended, I was annihilated. After teaching Breakthrough Comfort recently, a student asked me how to gently massage the aches in the heart that come from love ripped asunder. I told him I’d let him know if I ever found out. To my knowledge the only solution is time. Sure, the SUISC will encourage you to Go Fuck Ten Other Women, and that might help stanch the wound, but it doesn’t do much to grab hold of the psychic furniture that belonged to Her and move it to the attic space reserved for lovers lost to the past. It doesn’t help the feeling of incompleteness as you lie alone in the bed next to someone whose name you only just learned. As far as I know, the only help you’ll get patching up your wounded heart is from a second hand ticking through the silence of yet more lonely nights. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and for months my melancholia was repellent to women. I took the disintegration of my relationship personally, deemed myself a failure because of the wasted effort time, energy, and emotion that I poured into my time with her. That sense of failure made me repellent to myself. It was almost like a massive Scotsman had broken in and taken away my ability to handle myself around the women I was talking to.

Months later, I was having a fine time with girls of little consequence, but every few weeks I would meet a  girl I genuinely liked and I find myself making unfortunate mistakes, mistakes that culminated eventually in me howling in the Friend Zone with three ecstatically beautiful women. None of these situations are hopeless– if you take Breakthrough Comfort, you’ll understand why the Friend Zone is not really a threat if you think long-term and maintain your integrity– but all three of these exceptional situations shared a common problem: I showed too much interest too quickly. Ironically, I was talking with several exes about the issue (not in a conference call), and each one mentioned either at length or in passing that certain otherwise eligible guys had committed the same crime and received the same waning interest. When the universe speaks, I listen.

(Isn’t it maddening when you make mistakes and you know better? I don’t mean in a calculated way but in the sense of just saying things you know are ridiculous or that you don’t even know why the words are coming out of your mouth– a situation that happens to typically coincide with tactically poor choices. The mouth opens and the words come out as if propelled outside any human volition, and you watch the movie as if from the other side of a mirror.)

Much of the impetus for this lay in my memories of some remarkable women. I reviewed the experiences– thank God for blogs and journals– and I found that my mind had distorted the facts. I was looking at the past through the lens of romance, seeing events during which I was fitter and funner, where the girls were more immediately attracted, where the love was an assumption from the beginning, not a slowly boiling miasma of feeings. While romance is certainly not the enemy of pragmatism, it is easily her rival. I reviewed my notes from times before, and the truth slowly took shape. When meeting my former girlfriends everything was not hunky-dory right off the bat. In reality, my dance card was full every time I met any girl important to me since I discovered the SUISC, and that legitimate abundance gave me the distance I needed to stymie my occasionally too-intense romantic inclinations when I meet a really special woman.

After my mojo returned and I started teaching again, I slowly started seeing the world again from a stance of abundance. In the past week, four women have voiced sharp vocal objections to my lack of attention. The girls in question are lovely and interesting and charming and sweet. In each case, my failure to communicate has been due to legitimate logistical difficulty or laziness on my part, not a lack of interest. Although the girls initially started their calls with vitriol or annoyance or passive-aggression, it wasn’t very hard to bend my mind to the notion that for all their pissy vim, they were mostly saying, “I like you, and I thought you liked me, and when you didn’t call, I was hurt and confused.”Options >>

There are a handful of ways to look at the change, all of which revolve around the means to cultivate a strong center and an internal sense of abundance. As usual, they devolve into the tactical versus the ethical, the path toward love and long-term relationship happiness and How to Get the Girl. Stay tuned.